When coming back home from work: “Honey, I’m home!” When coming back home from work but you are not married and live alone: “Honey, I’m home!” When coming into work after a night of being alone at your residence: “Not-honey, I’m not home!” When seeing an old friend you haven’t seen for many years: “Hey, Brandon, I know you’re upset about going to prison for years for a crime I committed and framed you for, but there’s a really good explanation for all of this. To get that explanation, please just hold this knife and look angry.” When seeing your former friend Brandon whom you had sent to prison for years for a crime you committed and framed him for: “I do not know you, stranger, my name is Gregory Peck. Not the Gregory Peck, but my name is Gregory Peck.” When you are in a Mel Brooks movie with Gene Wilder and as a person of color you had been hiding behind a rock until he pulls you into the frame: “Yo, where the white women at?” When you are writing your response to What Are You Playing: “I like cheese.” Bonus question: What’s the weirdest thing you remember… Read full this story
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